There is no way I’m going to be successful with my career out of college. It’s hopeless. There’s nothing out there. I’ll never be good enough. I don’t know what to do. I feel so miserable. I don’t want to go to college anymore. I don’t want to exist like this. I don’t want to exist with constant anxieties and sadness. There is only so much I can do to help myself. And even if I did truly heal myself completely that doesn’t mean everyone is healed. I’m constantly angry at the world and injustice. I’m not going to stop being angry and upset over those things if I’m suddenly cured. What is the solution? I can’t just focus on one thing.
I’m still angry that I have to do something with my life if I don’t want to live on the streets. There should be enough money in the world to support everyone. I’m sick of being told that that’s laziness. I don’t have a passion for anything. I’m latching on to the one thing that semi-interests me and that’s photography. I don’t have nearly as much passion as my peers. I envy them. But I’m a different type of person. I would be so happy to just live in the woods/mountains with a lover and art supplies and books. Yes, I would want to travel but at least it would be a beautiful place. I hate where I live. I don’t like suburbs. I don’t like cities. I don’t like crowds of people. I want to be away from everything and ignore the world. I don’t want a job. I don’t want kids. I just want to be with someone I love. Friends are welcome too. I just don’t see why I have to have a job and be successful. I just want happiness, and I know that if I’m unhappy now in college, I’m not going to be happy when I graduate.
r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???